I was the tall chubby girl who was always participating in sports. I swam 5 days a week from the age of 13 for about 3/4 years. I lived near rivers and woods and I would always be running or biking. At weekends I was often being dragged to the Dales or the Lakes to climb Mountains,hills and fells whilst eating super clean foods, making fresh juices and smoothies made from homegrown ingredients.
I am fat and I love exercise, is that so hard to believe?
Ok, admittedly, I am drastically unfit at this moment in my life, but that isn't because of my weight, hell no - my exercise regime has purely consisted of moving my hand back and forth at speed - eating crisps, whilst blending into my sofa binge watching TV.
A couple of years ago, I was a few stone lighter and keeping fit was a passion, it was a way of life for me. I had constant goals, always aiming to achieve more and I loved watching my progression. When I first walked into a Les Mills Body Attack class, I actually thought I entered a torture dungeon. I could not do majority of the movements - 6 months later I was working out like one of the lyrca girls and I wanted to push myself even further!
People are often surprised when I start talking about keeping fit. Most of the time I am not taken seriously, I mean - how can someone as fat as me know what I'm talking about? How absurd!!
I find people are REALLY judgmental towards people who are overweight, and what I am about to tell you is a prime example.
A few years ago, I was doing interval training on a treadmill, I had my headphones in, however I wasn't actually listening to anything. Ironically I was too lazy to take them out or to put another playlist on, so I just keep training with blank earphones.
Two girls, tiny and slim, hair immaculate and a truck load of make-up on, stepped on to the treadmills next to me. I heard one of them say quietly, "omg have you seen her?? haha, look how fat she is" I ignored it then the other girl said, "I know, can't believe how fat she is, and she thinks walking up hill is going to make her look better or fitter?"
I still kept going trying to block out their ignorant comments. I was watching them in the mirror and they were going at a snails pace, holding on to the rails with was no incline and they were bitching about me? Really?
I was on the highest incline going at 4mph, not holding on to rails and marching like my life depends on it! I felt like my glutes and hams were going to explode, and they thought they were the dogs bollocks because the were thin and at the gym??
They kept looking and sniggering, talking about how they don't want to come to the gym to see fat people and by this point I was ready to kick their bony flat butts to hell.
I took my incline down, the speed up and I started to run. I saw them glancing at me and having a giggle. The best bit is -they started to run too. I put my speed up a bit more and they decided they will go faster and pretty much started bloody sprinting.
In my head I was not letting these bitches grind me down and what they don't know is, I have stamina and endurance, I can do this for a very long time. I could see they were having an asthma attack, their perfectly contoured polished make-up dripping off and I literally could see streaks of sweat!
I kept on running at a nice pace and I wasn't out of breath, but I had to do this. I couldn't allow these girls to judge people who are over weight and to mock them publicly.
The victory was when one of the girls wacked the emergency stop after 5 minutes and soon after the other stopped too. They were bending over, panting and I saw them look at me confused and they looked a teeny tiny bit pissed off.
These bitches were out run by a fat girl.
I came to a stop, popped out my headphones and turned to them and I said " Next time make sure my music is turned on before you slag me off for being fat," and I walked away with a strut full of attitude that said, "fuck you"
If you are scared of going to the gym, don't be. Yes, some people will look and judge, but I find the ones who look and judge are people who don't take gymlife seriously. They go and don't have a clue what they are doing, drastically unfit and it makes them feel better to taunt someone who is larger.
Don't be afraid of girls in lycra or men who lift. I found the people who were the most supportive were the real gymbuffs, athletes and body builders. They love seeing people wanting to change themselves and they often give advice and even train with you! They respect you and love seeing your transformation!
My point is, you can be fat and fit and you can also be thin and unfit. Weight doesn't come into it, what makes a difference is how much you workout and how far you push yourself and aren't afraid of pain.
I am not glorifying being fat, I don't want to be a fat person anymore and If I'm honest I am fed up of being judged, it holds me back and slows me down,
but I know I can be this size and be just as fit and strong if was 6 sizes smaller.
